How to Set A Goal

You may have been told that setting a goal is very important. Guess what, I’m here to tell you that it is. There are so many reasons for this.

You may have been told that setting a goal is very important. Guess what, I’m here to tell you that it is. There are so many reasons for this. In fact, I think setting goals has saved my life. I’m here to share with you a bit about my experience with setting goals, what my goals are moving forward in my life, and how you can set your own goals too (and really reach them this time). Keep reading for all the details.

Why goals are important…

When you don’t have a goal in your life you don’t have something to reach for. You don’t have something you are looking forward to achieving. A goal can be several different things. If you have been following me the past year or two, you know my goals have revolved around reaching a specific summit around the world. Each one I have attempted has been more difficult than the last. It has caused me to continue to work hard for the next mountain in mind.

Now, I’m not telling you your goals should be to climb a mountain. In fact, they don’t need to be anything athletic. Perhaps you want to excel at work, maybe you want to make a certain amount of money, maybe you want to save more money. There are so many things that you may want to achieve this month, this year, and in your life.

But…if the future is not promised, why not push us to reach our goals. Why not ensure you’re not at the end of your life and wishing you did more, saw more, and become more?

How to set your goals..

The next step is to set your goal. Like I said before, what came to mind when you thought of a personal goal? If you can’t think of anything, try thinking of something that is slightly out of your reach right now but you know eventually it could become attainable if you work hard.

There are also so many different level of goals you can achieve. I like to focus on ones that are 6 months or 1 year away. When it’s much longer I end up feeling overwhelmed that that will take me a long time to reach that.

The goals in my life…

I’ve had so many different phases in my life. One thing that has always been consistent is setting goals for myself. Whether that is athletically, travel wise, in my career, and everything in between, goals are critical for you to grow into the person you want to be.

Some fun facts about me and the goals I have accomplished (I feel like this suddenly is a boasting moment and it’s not meant to be.)

I went to World youth and World juniors in high school. Both were in Europe and I competed for team Canada.

I ended up going to the University of Texas at El Paso on a full scholarship for track and field.

I quite any type of 9-5 job and started an online marketing business full time that I have currently done for 4 years.

I’ve had a lot of times in my life where I have missed my goal. I’m proud to say it has never been a situation that has crushed me. I’m simply focused on a new goal or gone after it again.

My current goals…

I talk on my Instagram account about my various mountaineering goals. Right now, I have a permit in for Mount Whitney (highest peak in continental USA) and I am booked to climb Aconcagua at the end of the year (highest peak in South America). Both of this I believe are definitely attainable but I also know I’m going to have to keep working hard in order to get in better shape and even become mentally tougher. With some of these longer and higher hikes I’ve started leaning more mountaineering skills that will help me continue in the future (hint – I want to end up climbing Denali).

I also now officially have the goal of starting a YouTube channel. My goal is to share my story while hiking through the mountains around the world. I would love for you to subscribe (it would help me out so much while starting!) click HERE now.

So, what came to your mind when you were reading this? Did a large goal pop up suddenly? Perhaps something you have always wanted to achieve but didn’t know where to start.

Start now. Write it down and put it on your fridge. You may achieve it even quicker than you thought.

Thanks for reading. As always, keep living life.

-Laura Leanne

 

 

7 Ways to Help A Loved One That is Grieving

I remember 2 years ago if someone died I wouldn’t know what to say to their loved ones. Do I give them an awkward hug? They probably are so flooded with messages they won’t even notice mine. Maybe I’m bothering them. Do I send them something? How do I get their mailing address? What the … Continue reading “7 Ways to Help A Loved One That is Grieving”

I remember 2 years ago if someone died I wouldn’t know what to say to their loved ones. Do I give them an awkward hug? They probably are so flooded with messages they won’t even notice mine. Maybe I’m bothering them. Do I send them something? How do I get their mailing address? What the heck do I even say?

You can be completely confused. I GET IT! I’ve now been on both sides.

Since James died, other people have died around me and guess what, I’ve gone back to being awkward!! How stupid is that? It’s because humans just don’t naturally know what to say. It’s hard to put yourself in that person’s shoes. This past year though I’ve tried to make an effort to reach out to anyone that has had a loved one die.

When James passed away I was flooded with messages, emails, some yummy baked goods, you name it, it was probably there. The thing was, at the time I really didn’t notice. Maybe I thought, oh yum this is good. Or maybe I thought, wow that was a really nice thing to share and didn’t reply. Guess what though, over time I’ve gone back to each and every message and read them all. I still have not replied and don’t intend to. But I sure appreciate the people that reached out even if it was a 2 sentence “I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you are going through and you are in my prayers.” Hey, check out how easy that was. Do you know what I hated…”Please let me know if I can help.” I’m not sure why it annoyed me. But it did.

Anyone who has lost a loved one understands it’s hard to know what to say. So I have come up with a list of 10 ways to help a loved one grieve. They range from small to larger things, but I hope that if it helps some of you out there.

Share a memory: I love this. I really really love this. I don’t care if it’s something I knew about or something that is a new story to me, it’s like a small gift. It shows they have not forgot about that person. It shows they are thinking about them when, of course you are too.

Offer assistance: Now I do not have children, but I can’t imagine if I did how much a helping hand would be appreciated. I say that not only to people with children, but people going through grief in general. It’s exhausting! They probably are not eating or sleeping, so they do not have a lot of energy. Offer to cook or clean or even check the mail. Maybe even say are you sure? I would love to help. Ask again a few days later and I bet they will take you up on it.

Give them a gift: Now I’ve already talked about baked goods. But anything that would be comforting is a great idea. Maybe a few dinners that can be easily heated up. Maybe a stress relief ball. Maybe even a nice gesture like a picture frame with a picture of your friendship. There are a million little things you can add in a small box.

Quotes: You know I love quotes. At least you should know this about me if you have been following me on Instagram for longer than a few days. Write down your favorite quotes for them. Quotes about hope, about life about love. This may just help to lift their spirits a bit. If you or they are religious you can highlight a few of your favorite Bible versus, especially a few about heaven which will add a special touch.

A card: Aren’t cards great? Some just have the words already picked out for you. All you have to do is sign your name. Guess what, that’s okay and it’s a lovely gesture. Just sign the card and put it in the mail.

Set reminders: This may seem odd, but set reminders on your phone. 1 month anniversary, 2 month, 3 month, 6 month, etc. Guess what, that person that lost their loved one may be counting the exact days they have been without them. They definitely remember these anniversaries. No one may reach out. Since James passed away on New Years everyone remembers mine, but after the 2 month mark, most people stopped messaging me each month anniversary. Send them a quick message letting them know you are thinking of them.

Send a message: I shared earlier how I liked getting messages but I didn’t reply to them always. A simple social media message or text message goes a long way. It doesn’t need to be anything long (although it can be), but let them know you are thinking of them.

If you have another way you loved being helped during your time of grief, I would love for you to comment it below.

Thanks for reading! ❤

-Laura Leanne

It’s Year 2 – Now What?

On my Instagram channel, I talk about almost every topic under the sun. What my bad days look like, what a feeling of relief is like, my fitness goals, my travel, my dog. Let’s be honest – you’ve probably read a lot. Why am I pointing this out? I’m trying to go into a little … Continue reading “It’s Year 2 – Now What?”

On my Instagram channel, I talk about almost every topic under the sun. What my bad days look like, what a feeling of relief is like, my fitness goals, my travel, my dog. Let’s be honest – you’ve probably read a lot. Why am I pointing this out? I’m trying to go into a little more detail of where I am at now.

You have probably read all about the phases of grief. You may be able to relate to them. You may be like me and laugh and think, well that didn’t happen at all like that. So, if you have experienced more of a roller coaster, let me tell you, you are not alone. In fact, I think that’s normally how grief actually is.

My husband, James passed away January 1st, 2017. It is now late September 2018 and like I always say, grief is still there smacking me in the face each day. But it sure has changed from this time last year. Let me go into a little bit more detail…

In 2017, a had a lot of a medium to low feelings. A lot of low feelings of course. And the occasional super high. I figured that’s probably all pretty normal and it’s a lot better than feeling terrible all the time. So yes, pat on the back – progress! 2018 has been odd. It’s this understanding of knowing what has happened and figuring out your life. So, I have actually had so many highs. In fact, probably more highs than I used to have because I’m doing so many things that I now enjoy and have learned that I enjoy. With that said, there’s been so many lows too. So, it’s been more highs and lows and only some mediums. Confusing, huh? I agree! In fact, some weeks when I’m really enjoying myself and having a blast it freaks me out because a low must be following soon.

The point of my words today is to give you a little glimpse of what year 2 has looked like in the life of grief. Grief is full of ups and downs. Anyone that is reading this knows that. I had read that year 2 is actually the hardest and I would have to agree and disagree with that all at the same time. It’s hard because it’s reality. I really understand what is going on in my life and any numbing that I felt in 2017 is all gone. Time though has helped. It has helped me to understand how to help myself, what to do when I don’t feel so great. It has helped me to be able to breathe a little easier.

I would love to hear if you experienced the same type of pattern during your year 2 of grief. Please comment it below or send me a message.

Thanks for following along on my journey! ❤

Laura Leanne

Dealing With PTSD After Trauma

When I think of PTSD I don’t think of grief. At least I didn’t used to. I’m sure most people would agree with me, unless you are one of the unfortunate few that are currently nodding your head. For those of you that have experienced PTSD from a traumatic incident involving grief, I want to … Continue reading “Dealing With PTSD After Trauma”

When I think of PTSD I don’t think of grief. At least I didn’t used to. I’m sure most people would agree with me, unless you are one of the unfortunate few that are currently nodding your head. For those of you that have experienced PTSD from a traumatic incident involving grief, I want to first tell you that this is actually very normal. I hate how I always feel like I must be crazy with some of my emotions. Then I suddenly post it on my Instagram and the comments and messages come flooding in telling me that’s exactly what they are experiencing but either did not know how to put it into words OR they thought they must be crazy so wouldn’t dare say it out loud.

Well guess what, if you experienced seeing a loved one die in front of you, you experienced taking care of them and it was hard on you, you experienced seeing your loved one suffer, you experienced getting a terrible phone call, and a million other ways you see someone you care for deeply pass away, you probably have experienced a very traumatic event which now probably causes you a bit or a lot of PTSD.

So, to go into detail on my specific experience and what I experience. Insert deep breathes…

James was chatting about history one moment and the next moment he was on the ground. There are little moments about that night that I do not remember and really don’t feel like remembering. So, thanks brain for not bringing that back up with me. I remember thinking he must have fainted and started to shake him. I remember medics coming in and suddenly finding it hard to breathe and thinking this is the worlds shittiest dream. And to skip ahead a few hours, I remember the doctor telling me my husband wouldn’t make it as I was kneeling beside James holding his hand.

Little things about my night just come to me. I’ll be walking and SMACK (that wasn’t a door hitting me, although I think it would actually feel better) I remember seeing the monitor and noticing for the first time he had no heartbeat. Things that I hate that make me think of random things about that night…

  • Ambulances
  • Seeing any emergency hospital sign
  • Anyone telling me they had the worst day ever and it is not hard AT ALL.
  • Any kind of surprise good or bad. I’m surprised out, thanks.

A lot more, however those ones seem to be reoccurring and those damn ambulances never seem to go away.

I’m really not writing this blog to give you any kind of advice. Just deep breathes. Although I’m never a fan of time heals all, I really do think these kinds of things decline as time goes on and you simply learn how to deal with them. For example, with an ambulance I just sit there and literally hold my breathe and then you suddenly stop hearing the sirens and then I count to three quickly in my mind slowly and then I’m okay again. Those 25 seconds seem to go on forward, but if you asked me about ambulances 1 year ago I would say I f*cking hate them and they always put me in the worst mood. PROGRESS!

So no, you are not crazy. You have experienced something your brain had a hard time comprehending and it still struggles from time to time.

Have you experienced this? Has it gotten easier over time? Feel free to comment below or send me a message on Instagram (click here).