On my Instagram channel, I talk about almost every topic under the sun. What my bad days look like, what a feeling of relief is like, my fitness goals, my travel, my dog. Let’s be honest – you’ve probably read a lot. Why am I pointing this out? I’m trying to go into a little more detail of where I am at now.
You have probably read all about the phases of grief. You may be able to relate to them. You may be like me and laugh and think, well that didn’t happen at all like that. So, if you have experienced more of a roller coaster, let me tell you, you are not alone. In fact, I think that’s normally how grief actually is.
My husband, James passed away January 1st, 2017. It is now late September 2018 and like I always say, grief is still there smacking me in the face each day. But it sure has changed from this time last year. Let me go into a little bit more detail…
In 2017, a had a lot of a medium to low feelings. A lot of low feelings of course. And the occasional super high. I figured that’s probably all pretty normal and it’s a lot better than feeling terrible all the time. So yes, pat on the back – progress! 2018 has been odd. It’s this understanding of knowing what has happened and figuring out your life. So, I have actually had so many highs. In fact, probably more highs than I used to have because I’m doing so many things that I now enjoy and have learned that I enjoy. With that said, there’s been so many lows too. So, it’s been more highs and lows and only some mediums. Confusing, huh? I agree! In fact, some weeks when I’m really enjoying myself and having a blast it freaks me out because a low must be following soon.
The point of my words today is to give you a little glimpse of what year 2 has looked like in the life of grief. Grief is full of ups and downs. Anyone that is reading this knows that. I had read that year 2 is actually the hardest and I would have to agree and disagree with that all at the same time. It’s hard because it’s reality. I really understand what is going on in my life and any numbing that I felt in 2017 is all gone. Time though has helped. It has helped me to understand how to help myself, what to do when I don’t feel so great. It has helped me to be able to breathe a little easier.
I would love to hear if you experienced the same type of pattern during your year 2 of grief. Please comment it below or send me a message.
Thanks for following along on my journey! ❤